Hats Off
by Sar-kaz-m
Summary: SyFy's Alice. "I -- I hardly know, sir, just at present -- at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then." Rating going up. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

ONE - Spades

It's not that Wonderlanders don't have emotions. It's that the emotions are so mild, so muddied, so convoluted with the twisted logic that seems to be the brain pattern of every Wonderlander born, that the pure straightforward emotions distilled from the Oysters are overwhelming. But the need for that overwhelming purity is a weakness in and of itself.

The boy who grew up to be the Hatter instinctively understood this. His father was rarely around, only if he scored a bit of Passion tea. His mother, a tea-head of the first magnitude, would blow any small amount of income on tea instead of food for her son.

So the boy avoided taking tea as much as he could. He ran away from home at age seven, taking to the streets. At first, it was a life of scrabbling and hiding, growing up fast, stealing what he needed, running and hiding from Suits, from thugs, from tea-heads that took too much Lust without direction. Eventually, he found a niche, a hidden corner of one of the many abandoned building that was relatively secure. From that base, he started storing up items, grifting, conning his way into deals and trades. He had a talent for Procurement. If Person A wanted something, and Person B had it, the lad called Hatter could bring them together for a mutually beneficial exchange.

For a small percentage off the top, of course.

He was a regular wizard at it. His logic was no less convoluted than the rest of Wonderland, but when necessary, he could pull it together at just the right time, to make the big score. Which was how he found himself the proprietor of a Tea House. Of course, there were some people who didn't trust you if you weren't using too. Hatter was careful – a half dose of Confidence here, a drop of Self-Assurance there. Nothing that would interfere with business as usual. He developed an underground empire of black marketeering. He'd become The Hatter, the man who always had something up his sleeve, the one with the knowledge, the one who could score.

Contact with Dodo changed some things. Dodo didn't use at all. He was looking for other supplies: food, clean water, blankets. Hatter's Tea House being the best source of black market trade in that whole corner of the City made it inevitable that the Wizard of Procurement, and the Keeper of the Library should meet.

Hatter's price was both simple and steep. For whatever Hatter could smuggle into the hidden Library, Dodo would teach him to read and write.

It didn't make them friends, oh no. Dodo sneered and mocked, hating his own need, hating that only Hatter could provide for the people hiding out in the Library, that Hatter played both sides of the fence, selling tea and supporting the Resistance. Frankly, the blighter could have laid off a bit, had he realized the Hatter was taking exactly zero profit in currency from the transactions.

Hatter didn't care anyway. Caring what Dodo thought implied that Dodo had some sort of superiority over him, and Hatter would never ever admit to that. Hatter had his own brand of self-confidence and self-assurance that meant never having to say 'yes sir' to anybody.

All was right with Hatter's world. He never dealt directly with a Royal, only the simple Clubs that ran the Suits and arranged the measly shipments. Dormouse oversaw the house floor. Hatter was able to sit back, like a spider in its web, and only step in when the deal was extra special, all the while filtering a steady supply of food and clean water to the Great Library. But then, out of the blue, the ratcatcher brought a fugitive Oyster to Hatter's Tea House. And suddenly, Hatter's world turned upside down.

It wasn't just that she was beautiful. She _was_ beautiful, no doubt about that, with her creamy skin and lithe body, those remarkable blue eyes in a heart-shaped face, and the curtain of dark hair he immediately wanted to stroke. Had she been a Wonderlander, he'd have offered her every drop of tea she wanted in exchange for her exclusive company! But no, she would have to be an Oyster – dangerous, foreign, off-limits.

Still, he moved close to her, close enough to feel vicariously. The Oysters had no idea what their mere presence could do to a Wonderlander. That pure emotion oozed out of them like a mist. At the casino they were kept sedated, controlled, the emotions safely siphoned off and distilled into tea. But here was an Oyster in full control of her faculties. Her suspicion pushed at him, tantalized him. What if he could get past that suspicion? If he could help her, get her to trust him, help her get home…. then she might feel gratitude. Towards HIM.

The Hatter knew, that would feel….. _intoxicating._

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

TWO - Diamonds

There was something ugly kicking round inside Hatter's own chest, and he didn't like it one bit. Every time Alice insisted she had to save her boyfriend, every time she resisted his very sensible advice, that ugly thing in his chest would roll over and he hated it.

It was an unusually powerful emotion, for a Wonderlander. And it wasn't something he was picking up from her, oh no. It was all his own.

Jealousy.

Hatter fervently hoped that this Jack Chase appreciated his Alice.

The first rush came when she held his hands and let him lead her, setting aside her fear of heights and trusting in him. The first inkling of trust was as exciting as he suspected it would be. He stayed strong and confident for her, making sure she saw him as her protector. And oh, the feeling of that soft, strong hand in his! As capable in a fight as he later learned her to be, her skin was still smooth and warm under his fingers.

The second rush had come when she hadn't left him behind at the Great Library. She'd come back, fighting Dodo for him. And in the bus, she'd pulled open his shirt, and Hatter didn't mind admitting he'd felt a rush of highly inappropriate _something_ right there…. but her anger confused him. It took some mulling in the back of his head before he realized that her anger that he wasn't injured was a response to thinking he'd been really hurt. Which didn't make sense to him, but he figured it must be an otherworld thing. Did it mean she might feel something for him?

But the downside was Alice's conviction that her precious boyfriend needed saving. Hatter assumed White Rabbit had taken the guy into the Casino, like all the other Oysters, and really, there was no coming out for Oysters. But how how HOW had the guy gotten his hands on the Stone of Wonderland? It made absolutely no sense at all, even for a Wonderlander used to convoluted logic.

Until of course, it made perfect sense, when one realized that Jack Chase was really Prince Jack Heart.

Rescuing Alice from the Casino, with Charlie's mad help, was the score of the lifetime, if only Hatter had someone to crow to about it. And hearing Alice's stubborn determination shift from rescuing Jack to rescuing her father only made Hatter want to stomp on his own hat and tear his hair in frustration. Why could she trust him enough to swing over that bottomless pit and into his arms, but not LISTEN to him? She'd trust the word of that stupid treacherous blighter of a Prince but not the guy who'd stood by her and helped her all along?

Jealousy. The emotion, all his own, clawed its way through his chest. He wanted to yell in her face, make her see sense, scream _what about me?_ to the skies.

So he appealed to a higher power. Surely Caterpillar would be able to make her see reason.

During the trek back to the city to make contact, he rummaged through his head, trying to justify the hot envy tearing him up. When he stumbled upon the answer, he nearly tripped and sprawled on his face.

The intoxication of being near her. The rush he got from her trust, her concern. The scent of her hair, the feeling of her arms around him on the flamingo, the shiver of relief she'd made when he caught her from the wild jump out of the torture chamber. The raw lust for her combined with the constant need to live up to the façade of strength and trustworthiness he'd present to her. The worry, the gnawing fear for her when she wasn't near. The way he tried to find reasons to touch her – grab her hand, her arm, a palm to the small of her back, an arm around her shoulder.

The one pure emotion mostly highly sought after in the Tea house was Love. It was the hardest for the Queen to produce, because by the very nature of the operation, Oysters were taken away from the ones they loved. Love was triggered by another person, so by definition, you couldn't really score much Love off a single kidnapped Oyster. It was so expensive, so rare, Hatter had never tasted it himself.

Until now.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

THREE – Clubs

Oh the joy of her approval! Hatter had become as addicted to Alice as any tea-head was to tea. To discover that just by being trustworthy he'd earned her trust, to feel as that last barrier of suspicion fell away when she smiled so sweetly at him in the morning light. To laugh with her, to look into her eyes and feel in his heart how she was everything to him, and know if she'd only let him, he'd be everything for her.

The appearance of Jack Heart was a cruel blow. The Prince, defying his mother the Queen, working for the Resistance! It was a twist of logic even the most mad Wonderlander couldn't have guessed. But to have no defense against the Prince's words was even worse. Hatter had to look away. There was a crushing feeling in him now, a weakness. The Prince's words were blows to batter him, and unfamiliar sorrow and guilt tightened his gut and made Hatter want to lash out with his right fist, the 'sledgehammer' the old bird at the library was concerned about. A large number of Wonderlanders had special skills, and the Hatter's was his right straight-arm punch. But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't do it. Not with Alice there.

The Prince, coldly correct, with his own logical explanations, forced Alice to choose. And as usual, when it came to choices, the Hatter lost.

She left him then, standing in a clearing in the woods with a loony knight and nothing to remember her by but the memory of her scent and the ache in his heart. It hurt to breathe, Hatter realized. Would he die now? It certainly felt like it. And yet, he just couldn't buy the Prince's tale. It didn't make sense. What was so important about Alice's long-lost father?

_Curiosity killed the Cat_, his old crony Cheshire used to say, before getting on the wrong side of the Mad March and losing his own head.

Hatter put off Charlie with some lame excuse about hiding out, and followed Alice and the Prince. He should have expected Charlie would follow too.

Unfortunately, in order to keep the pursuit quiet, they'd needed to keep their distance. He didn't know what transpired between Alice and the Prince, but when he saw she'd been captured, and that the Suits even had Jack cuffed… well, the Prince could bloody well take care of himself, in Hatter's opinion, but he tried to save Alice anyway.

Blasted Charlie. The rescue failed rather miserably, and he was locked in a cell on the scarab, unable to see or reassure Alice. They had only a glimpse of each other upon arrival at the Casino. She called out his name again, and he struggled to reach her, but there were too many Suits.

Soon enough, he was escorted to a strange room, where a pair of twin menaces waited. And then things really began to go downhill.

Even through the pain, Hatter was confused. The two lunatics didn't ask him any questions at all. They tortured him, and cackled gleefully, and didn't seem to give a damn about what he might know. Off the deep end, those two, and he wouldn't give them the satisfaction of screaming, even when they started using the electric prods.

It seemed to go on for hours. Sometimes, they left him alone, just long enough for him to start thinking about escape, and then they started in again. But the worst, worse than the physical pain, were all the promises they made about Alice. How they were also torturing her. How she was screaming for him to save her. How the Queen would let the scientists bleed her emotions dry, and then behead her. How her pretty head would bounce when it hit the floor.

Unfortunately for them, eventually this only started to piss him off.

And then Mad March showed up. That sick bugger, the terror of all the poor refugees in hiding. But in a strange fashion, finally being asked a bloody question snapped Hatter out of the fugue of pain and worry, and galvanized him.

It was with grim pleasure and extreme pride that Hatter smashed that bastard's ceramic head and stomped on it.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

FOUR – Hearts

Hatter searched through the Casino to find her. He slipped quietly along the halls, thanking his good fortune that whatever emergency had struck the Casino, it gave him cover. Then he thought with horror that perhaps the Queen had simply had Alice sedated and shoeless, placing her on the Casino floor to drain her dry like any other Oyster. The thought of those pretty blue eyes going empty, forgetting everything, even him, infuriated Hatter. He immediately tried to find a quiet way into the main gaming room.

Like a hero, he showed up just in time, and her reaction was as gratifying as his wildest fantasies. All he could think was that if she could just hug him all the time, he'd spend the rest of his life in blissful happiness. It overwhelmed him: the worry, the relief, the little hitch in her voice that told him just how much she cared. He managed to avoid succumbing then and there, because the danger of capture still loomed over them. Then all hell broke loose. Well, in fairness, Alice started it. _Little rabble rouser_, he'd thought smugly.

It took every scrap of strength he had to pull her away from her father's body. She gave off grief in waves, and he wanted to cry with her, but he couldn't. The Casino was about to come down like the house of cards it was, and they'd be killed if they didn't run. They helped disoriented Oysters out, and ran for the safety of the woods.

And damn it, the Hearts all had the bloody worst timing, the lot of them! That was TWICE he'd been interrupted by a Heart! But Alice, oh his beautiful, strong Alice, waking up, shaking up the whole of Wonderland. What a comedown to see the powerful Queen revealed as nothing but a strident bitch.

And actually, there was a moment there where he could've actually gotten to like that Jack Heart blighter. _Clean cut_ indeed, clever bastard.

The Queen was imprisoned by her own Suits in the City. The holding rooms of White Rabbit proved useful as Jack Heart, the soon-to-be-King, led everyone back to the City. The location of the Looking Glass was revealed, and the reawakened Oysters were prepared for their journey home.

Hatter was sick, ill, he's sure of it. Maybe it was all the Oysters around that caused the horrible churning in his stomach. No, honestly – it was seeing Alice in King Jack's arms. Seeing her smile full of open affection for that royal prig. Hatter still thought Jack was cold, correct, not at all what he'd have guessed Alice would like, but what can he do? It's clear what – who she preferred. He tried to slip away, to not be the third wheel at their tender farewell, but then she called to him. And he went to her, pathetic, like a tea-head to the Tea House, unable to resist her.

There was a hesitant anticipation in her, something he can't understand, so he laughed and stuck to his guns, telling her to go home to her world, where she'll be safe, like he had all along, babbling _like a moron_,he snarled inwardly. Her suggestion that he visit her world squeezed his heart, and like a fool he suggested an activity he'd overheard from the other Oysters, whatever bloody 'pizza' may be. She seemed surprised, then sad, and just as he was about to start frantically apologizing and promising her anything to make her smile again, the technician pulled her away and shoved her through the Glass.

_So, that's what loosing a limb feels like._

Hatter stared at the Glass, reflecting the milling population of the room as Oysters queued up to go home to the otherworld. He knew they were looking at him, Charlie and Jack, and he didn't acknowledge them. He was too absorbed in the feeling of a gaping hole in his heart where Alice used to be.

_That is that_, he finally decided, and turning on his heel, he left the Looking Glass chamber.

He returned to the ruined remains of the Tea House. There would be no need for such a place in Jack Heart's new Wonderland. Most of the place was looted after the Mad March trashed it, looking for Alice. Back in his office, Hatter listlessly righted his chair and collapsed into it. He still held the purple coat in his hands, and with despair, he brought the collar to his face, and inhaled the lingering scent of Alice's skin.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Now we're to the part of the story I wanted to write. I had to go through the miniseries to establish some things, some backstory, but now we're on to the real tale. The entire style of writing is changing as well: look, dialog! :-)_

ONE – Knight

It might have been a few days. He didn't particularly care. When the urge came upon him, he'd rummaged around and found some water, but he knew he couldn't stomach food.

Once, someone came into the tea house, and he'd chased them out with a roar, throwing debris after them.

He would have figured word would get around after that. _Oh yeah, that Hatter, went mad after all dinn'e? Went off on some trip and came back, locked himself in his old teahouse. Can't take the new world order, eh?_ Let them gossip. He didn't care.

He sat in his chair before his desk and cradled the purple coat in his arms. If someone could have asked what he was doing, he might have told them he was waiting to die of a broken heart.

Considering the silence, it was something of a surprise when he heard his name called. He turned, and there was Charlie in the doorway. A new Charlie, tall and proud, in silver maille with a shiny white surcoat, quilted coif on his head, and helm under his arm.

"My boy, my poor boy," Charlie sighed. He crossed the room and looked down at Hatter, haggard and unkempt. Charlie's eyes rested briefly on the purple coat, then he gave the younger man a kind smile. "Heartbreak. It is a terrible affliction, lad."

"What do you want, Charlie?" Hatter asked, voice hoarse with disuse.

"Rise up, Harbinger! I know how you long for her. You must go to her."

Hatter shook his head. "She didn't want me, Charlie. She's safer there, in her world."

"She is," Charlie agreed, "But it does not follow that she is happy, there alone, without her closest companion by her side."

Hatter groaned and turned away. "Don't, Charlie."

The knight reached out and shook Hatter's shoulder. "Come, lad, rouse yourself. The King has requested your presence!"

"Tell that cold blighter he can kiss my white arse!" Hatter snapped, finally annoyed with the disturbance of his despairing peace. He shook off Charlie's hand and stood shakily, cradling the purple coat close.

"I cannot. I am charged by the King to retrieve you. You must rally your spirit, my boy! Word of your despair has reached the King's ear. He cannot allow the hero who assisted the Lady Alice to be lost to misery."

"Hero. Who's the bloody hero? It was Alice, it was all Alice. She had the strength, she had the will."

"And you were HER strength!" Charlie insisted, but Hatter shook his head.

"She never trusted me as much as him."

"Ah!" The knight exclaimed in sudden understanding. "But you did not hear her refuse him."

"I didn't…. what?" Hatter was confused.

Charlie nodded. "The King came to Alice in the Looking Glass chamber, and he offered her the ring, the Crown, and his heart, to be his Queen and rule Wonderland by his side. And she denied him, stating she had been changed by this quest, and was no longer the same woman he'd wooed in the otherworld." Charlie couldn't help but rhapsodize further. "And why should she accept his hand, he who denied her? Even for her own sake, he found no way to assure her of his love! His heart did not survive the journey back from the otherworld – that peril is often too great for our people."

"Wait – what are you on about?" Hatter demanded.

Charlie's brows went up in surprise. "But this is lore, my boy, lore of Wonderland. Surely you know?"

"Know what?" Hatter ground out.

"Why, our people can feel as much as an Oyster when in the otherworld, but that ability, if not learned here in the first place, doesn't survive the journey through the Looking Glass. His Majesty could remember the feelings of affection he had for the Lady Alice, but could no longer genuinely feel them. Such is the curse of Wonderland. Only if you learn to love HERE can your feelings THERE survive."

"So, he was cold because… he didn't feel anymore?"

"Just so. And though he admitted to me that he tried to reassure her, his assurances lacked the fervency that true emotion would have given them, and thus did not persuade the lady."

Hatter sat down again, hard. "I didn't know. I thought…. I thought she still cared about him."

"I'm sure she did, in the way one cares about a friend." Charlie knelt next to Hatter's chair, placing a hand on Hatter's arm. "But you, my dear boy. You came to love her most honestly, did you not? Here, in Wonderland, where the twisted logic of our minds so often overwhelms our hearts, you learned to love, for the sake of Alice. Why did you not declare your heart?"

Hatter shivered. "I don't know. I… couldn't. I couldn't make her think she should stay, just for me. It's still not safe for her here. And… and she deserves better than me."

Charlie smiled. "It is always more chivalrous to let the lady decide for herself what she deserves."

"Too late now. And I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."

"Ah," Charlie smirked. "Perhaps not. Come, clean yourself up and answer the summons of your King. Perhaps there is a solution yet to your dilemma."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

TWO – King

Hatter hated to shave. Clean-shaven, he looked even younger than he usually did. Most Wonderlanders grew haggard before their time, a result of using tea. Since Hatter had always avoided the stuff, he appeared younger than his thirty years.

But with Charlie breathing down his back, he didn't have a choice. He considered wearing the purple coat, but instead hid it away. An irrational fear that something would happen to it shuddered to life in the back of his brain, and even though he knew it was paranoia, he had to protect his last link to the woman he loved.

Instead he donned a black coat, and rounded up an old black derby to replace the beaten straw porkpie. A glance in a mirror told him he looked young, fragile and grieving.

That about summed it up, actually.

The sun seemed too bright to him as he followed Charlie through the city. With the collapse of the Casino, the Royal Court had taken over the White Rabbit building. Hatter glanced sideways at the milling Suits. Everywhere, people paused to look at him, whispering, gesturing.

"What the hell is their problem?" He muttered, but Charlie overheard them.

"Ah, you were not aware, the King has dubbed you a Hero of Wonderland. You are famous now, you know."

"Bloody hell," Hatter groused. Charlie only chuckled.

The knight led the way to a large room, dominated by a conference table surrounded by Suits, the King of Hearts at the head. Hatter made a point of checking out the view from the windows as Charlie made a sweeping bow to the King. He'd be damned if he'd bow to the red-suited prig.

"Thank you, Sir Charles. That will be all, everyone," King Jack announced genially, and Suits gathered their notes and folders and departed. Even Charlie abandoned Hatter, but not without a wink and a bracing slap on the back.

Alone with the King, Hatter kept his eyes on the windows. Silenced stretched between them for some time, until finally Jack broke it.

"Don't you even want to know why I summoned you?"

Hatter sneered. "Not particularly. You can gloat just as well without me here as with."

Jack frowned. "Gloat? Why would I gloat?" He stood and crossed the room to stand by Hatter's side, gazing out the windows. "On the contrary, I and all of Wonderland owe you a debt of thanks for all you did to assist Alice while she was here."

Hatter shrugged, a one-shoulder gesture that lacked energy.

Jack sighed. "Why do you dislike me so, Hatter?"

Startled, Hatter actually looked up at the man. "Three guesses. First two don't count."

Jack smiled faintly. "Because I was there at the beginning?"

Hatter turned away. "Begin at the beginning, go to the end…" He started to walk towards the door; he couldn't be bothered matching witticisms with the King.

"Then stop," Jack finished the old Wonderland aphorism. "Here's another one for you: If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but…."

Freezing in place, Hatter pondered the rest of that saying. _As it isn't, it ain't. That's logic._

Jack continued to speak behind him. "You see, she wasn't able to forgive me for that failing that afflicts so many Wonderlanders: lack of feeling. I'd offered her the ring in her world. To her, that was a sign of more than average affection. It startled her – we had not been spending time together for very long. She quite threw me out of her home over it. But I'd left the ring, to protect it, not expecting she'd come charging after me to return it. And when I could no longer convince her of the strength of my affection to her… well, she deemed me to be unworthy of her."

_It is always more chivalrous to let the lady decide for herself what she deserves_, Charlie had said. Hatter remembered how Alice had thrown herself into his arms on the Casino floor, tears of emotion in her eyes when she admitted fearing he was dead. The dizzying rush he got when she was near, the strange unfathomable anticipation she exuded during their last goodbye. "Charlie said…" Hatter started, but Jack's chuckle stopped him.

"Sir Charles is a noble and loyal person, whom, I've discovered, cannot keep a secret to save his life." Jack ambled casually back to the conference table, pretending to examine some documents. "You know, the technicians can set the Looking Glass to almost any moment they wish. Why, even a month later, they can send a person through to appear in the otherworld at the exact moment necessary," Jack said with an air of nonchalance. But Hatter kept up with the sudden subject change.

Turning back to face his king, Hatter asked simply, "Why?"

Jack's smirk was wistful. "Just because I wasn't her choice, doesn't mean I don't still want her to be happy. And if you are her choice, well, I'm not cruel like my mother. You both deserve the chance."

_Bloody hell_, Hatter thought. He could learn to like the King after all.

"Now," the King said briskly, "I can't just shove you through the Looking Glass with a fare-thee-well. The otherworld is a very different place. The landscape, the customs, the technology, it's all very different from Wonderland. I'll have you well-briefed by some White Rabbit agents with experience visiting the otherworld. In addition, we'll need Caterpillar to arrange an identity for you, as he did for me. Frankly, you're what they'd consider a bit… scruffy… over there. You'll need sprucing up."

"Scruffy?" Hatter yelped in outrage. "Now see here–"

"I'm not saying you have to turn into a Suit, Hatter. Just that you'll have to blend."

"Blend," Hatter muttered as the King went to an intercom and requested someone to join them. "I'll show him blended."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

_AN: Someone questioned the continued existence of the Caterpillar. Well, we saw him vanish… but no body. Jack said "the leader of the resistance is dead"… but he said it to the Queen, and wouldn't he say anything to her to throw her off Caterpillar's trail? So I choose to believe that the mushroom was an escape mechanism, not a suicide trip. You don't become Queen's Enemy #1 without some contingency plans._

THREE – Bishop

Michael Diamonds made the King look positively ruddy by comparison. Pale skin, long white-blond hair, and a pale grey suit combined to give one the impression of a specter or ghost.

"Blimey," Hatter said when the man entered the room. "He IS the bleeding White Rabbit."

Jack nodded. "Michael is the ranking administrator, yes, since my mother had the last one beheaded. However, you'll find that there are none with better expertise on surviving in the otherworld than Michael." Jack's smile turned wicked. "He was also Caterpillar's man inside the organization."

Hatter gave a low whistle. "All I did was supply some nosh."

"You underestimate the importance of your actions," Michael said smoothly. His voice was velvety, super-cultured, with a note of superiority over even Jack's. It made Hatter wonder if this wasn't the hereditary king of Diamonds. "Keeping the refugees alive by provisioning the Great Library was a needful and often dangerous task. Many people owe you their lives."

"So you say," Hatter conceded reluctantly.

"Dodo's personal animosity for you aside," Michael continued, "You were supporting the very people we were trying to save. Even beyond the assistance you provided the Lady Alice, you would be honored." He bowed then to Hatter, which made the con-artist flinch.

"Right, enough of that then," Hatter said, skittishly putting more distance between himself and this slick Suit.

"Hatter, Michael's going to oversee your transition. He'll arrange the agent briefings and so forth."

"How long?" Hatter asked, which was in his opinion, the only important consideration.

Michael hesitated, then said, "Three weeks? Presuming, ah, you can…."

"I can read," Hatter stated flatly. Education for the masses wasn't high on the Queen's domestic agenda in the past decades.

"Excellent!" Michael's smile was as blindingly white as his hair. "Then I'd guess three weeks."

Hatter nodded. He'd just as soon go right now, every hour away from Alice gnawed at his guts. Wanting her was like a crawling feeling all over his skin. Before today, he'd expected he'd let himself die from wanting her, but now with the prospect of following her to her world, his heart jumped in his chest and he didn't know if he'd have the patience to go through this little training class.

Jack must have sensed this conflict, because he said, "Hatter – it is necessary. You're not going to just visit, it's likely you're going to stay. You'll have to be able to maintain the fiction of being an Oyster from birth."

"Fine, whatever," Hatter said shortly. "Let's get started."

The Hatter refused to stay in the White Rabbit Royal Compound. He'd slip in each day, and slip out each evening, holing up at the tea house by night, curled around a certain purple coat as he slept. Sometimes, he'd see Jack around, and the King would nod genially, but mostly he met with an array of remarkably polite Suits, who briefed him on things like geography, acculturation, politics, technology, and so forth. He'd be lucky – where Alice lived, people spoke differently. One Suit, a three of spades, very clever, was able to approximate the flat nasal tones of Alice's homeland, and Hatter thought it lacked music, lilt, and didn't sound like Alice's way of speaking at all. But apparently, parts of the otherworld did speak like Wonderlanders, and he could simply claim to be from there. Many errors he might make culturally could be excused on that basis.

Halfway through the lessons, he lost his temper. He was starting to feel like he'd never make it, never be given the clearance to go through the Looking Glass. He snapped, got into a snarling argument with a hapless Club, and the resultant scuffle brought Michael Diamonds into the room.

Feeling a bit like a sulky child, Hatter slumped in a chair while the perennially clean and pressed Diamond looked down at him.

"There's a darkness to you," the Suit suddenly observed, seemingly apropos of nothing.

"Feck off," Hatter shot back.

A smirk briefly crossed Michael's face. "You're the first Wonderlander I've ever met to develop such strong emotions."

"La dee dah and fiddle dee dee," Hatter replied ironically, his mood so black, his whole heart aching for his Alice.

One perfectly shaped white brow raised up. "I wonder what it is about you that appeals to the Lady Alice."

Hatter shot to his feet, glaring at the Suit. "Don't."

Michael sighed. "Very well. I will tell you this – we are now merely waiting on the forgeries Caterpillar will provide. Identification, currency cards, et cetera. His Majesty has pre-cleared your journey. As soon as these necessary items arrive, you may go."

"When?"

"Another week, at least, I'm afraid. Until then, all we can do is continue to brief you." The Diamond hesitated, and then for the first time ever, sat down in Hatter's presence. He placed his hands on the table, lacing his fingers, silent, as if gathering courage. "You'll find the experience to be very… visceral."

Sensing this was important, Hatter sat opposite the Suit. "Visceral?" he prompted.

"Yes. I myself was most overwhelmed my first few trips through. Returning to Wonderland was a relief. For others, it isn't quite as shocking, though White Rabbit policy has always been to limit the number and duration of any agent's trip. It wouldn't do to… lose one."

"Lose one?"

"To madness."

Hatter blinked in surprise. _We're all mad here_ was something of a motto for Wonderlanders. He actually knew of very few who went off the deep end for real, though there was always a story floating around of some tea-heads who offed themselves, broke and unable to score.

"I will admit to having expressed some concern to His Majesty," the Suit continued, "About whether or not you'll be able to transition well. Already you're the most emotional Wonderlander I've ever seen. Frankly, some Suits who've worked with you report that the effect is not unlike working with an Oyster." Now Hatter was completely floored. "My concern is that… well, all Wonderlanders feel more – more emotions, more intensely when in the otherworld. With your already-heightened capability for emotion, I fear you will be quite overcome."

"I'm not." Hatter leaned back. He didn't buy the expression of concern any more than he bought the attitude of respect he'd been getting all this time. "It'll all be fine, once I'm with Alice."

Michael's expression was politely disbelieving, but all he said was, "As you say."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

FOUR – Rook

The clothing, though not terribly different, was awfully boring, to Hatter's mind. The perky she-Suit who'd presented him with a selection of attire seemed genuinely sorry to explain that the garishly patterned shirts he normally favored would be considered inappropriate.

Caterpillar finally came through on the identifications. That was one of the rare occasions where Hatter actually spoke to the King. Jack Heart gave him a set of keys along with the little plastic cards.

"My residence there. It had been paid in advance for several months, so you should have some time before having to find a new residence or employment."

"Won't the neighbors wonder?"

"You could tell them you're house-sitting."

"What?"

Michael interrupted, "It means you're living in His Majesty's residence as a sort of guardian until his return."

Hatter frowned. "But you're not returning."

Jack gave Hatter an ironic look. "But they don't know that."

Clever. _Damn it, he didn't want to start liking Jack Heart!_

Finally, the day arrived. Dressed in boring otherworld clothing he could barely stand, hair slicked ridiculously flat, Hatter fidgeted with the black derby in his hands. Time and again the Suits had tried to explain that hats were not common on men in the otherworld, and time and again Hatter had told them to sod off. He was the _Hatter_, and for all he'd give up his home-world for Alice, he hardly thought she'd expect him to give up _that._

He had identification and currency in his pockets, keys, and directions to both Jack's otherworld residence and Alice's residence.

Technicians adjusted the settings on the Looking Glass. "You will arrive only moments after Lady Alice," one explained to Hatter, who nodded nervously. To her, it would seem like he followed her immediately. He didn't know if he should tell her about the time difference, how he spent nearly a month preparing, so he'd fit into her world. He didn't know if he could explain the bleak despair that had nearly killed him after she left. He didn't know if she actually did want him to follow.

He didn't know if she actually wanted him.

Nervousness made him sick to his stomach.

King Jack gave Hatter an encouraging smile from beside the Looking Glass. Just the other day, it had been announced that the King's marriage to the Duchess of Diamonds would go forward.

"Harbinger!" Hatter turned to the strident voice, and there was Charlie, looking just as spiffy and clean as he had when he's pulled Hatter out of the ruined tea house. The old knight, now every inch a true knight, smiled warmly at the younger man. "You will bear my greetings to the Lady Alice of Legend, will you not?"

"Of course, Charlie. Besides, His Nibs says we can come back any time. There's a contact code we can 'text'. Whatever that means." Hatter stepped forward with a smile to give the old knight a brisk parting hug.

But when they parted, Charlie placed his hands on Hatter's shoulders, his expression serious. To Hatter's surprise, the knight leaned forward and placed a fatherly kiss on Hatter's brow.

"Be well, my son," the knight said quietly. "Be happy."

Hatter's jaw dropped, and shockingly felt tears spring to his eyes. That pure parental pride and approval was a wholly new experience for Hatter. Charlie's smile was warm as he stepped back.

"We're ready," announced a technician.

Hatter, still dazed, turned back to the Glass, the ripple of an active portal clear to see. The technician pulled him forward, and advised brusquely "Remember to breathe," before giving the Hatter a firm push into the Glass.

Terrifying, terrifying, terrifying! Worse than the crash on the flamingo – that at least let him control his descent. Worse than falling off a City ledge, something he'd done once as a teen, only five stories up, but instinctively knowing he'd survive the fall. This – this was like falling from the sun into nothingness, and the terror of the unknown landing froze his guts and only his pride kept him from screaming.

He kicked out with his feet, seeking solidity, and suddenly experienced a shock as his foot came down on a hard surface. He staggered, stumbling into darkness lit by a single swinging light, some sort of industrial lamp, gasping and coughing, the unvoiced screams blocking his throat.

"Alice!" he cried, hoarsely. He was supposed to arrive right after her! She should be here!

His cry was echoed suddenly. He could hear people, calling "Alice! Alice Hamilton!" Her people were looking for her, and here he was, this person arriving out of nowhere. Grasping the lamp, he saw it hooked onto an exposed beam, and was attached to some sort of coiled cord. He raised it up, and saw with amazement as the Looking Glass portal seemed to fade out of existence. Then a flash of blue caught his eye.

Swinging around, the lamp light fell on Alice, seemingly asleep on the floor. Her skin was pale in the harsh light, and Hatter quickly realized that she wasn't asleep, she was unconscious. What the hell had happened? Had she fallen when she arrived?

Panicking, he rushed to her side, quickly checking her over. No blood, her skin was still warm. "She's here!" he hollered, hoping to be taken for one of the searchers.

"What?" someone yelled back.

"Here! Up here! She's unconscious! Help me!" Hatter cried back, crouched by her side. He set down the lamp and shucked off his jacket, tucking it around her just as more lights and people arrived.

One, a man in a uniform like the one an Oyster had worn in the Casino – what were they called? Please-officers? Pease-Officers? Hatter couldn't think of it – immediately knelt next to Hatter. "Don't move her," he ordered. "She could have other injuries. The paramedics are coming." He eyed Hatter suspiciously. "How'd you get up here so fast?"

"Saw her run in," Hatter lied quickly. "She didn't come out. I was just coming in to check on the girl when I heard you folks coming."

"In the dark?"

Suddenly remembering his cover, Hatter answered, "I work on the site."

More people with more lights, including two men with some sort of carry-bed came into the room. The pease-officer pulled Hatter away from Alice as the others started to go over her, removing his coat, carefully arranging her limbs, lifting her eyelids to peer into her eyes with little lights. "Out cold," one observed, "But no visible injuries. Give me the backboard…"

"You got ID on you?" The please-officer kept questioning Hatter, though the Wonderlander's attention was fixed on Alice.

Hatter nodded, producing his wallet and extracting the little plastic card that bore his image. The please-officer examined it while the others strapped Alice to some sort of board, blocks on either side of her head to keep her from moving her neck apparently. Hatter started to fidget, pulling off his hat and twisting it.

"Mr. David Holmes, huh? Construction?"

"Yeah, that's right," Hatter answered distractedly. The weeks of briefing proved useful.

"Where are you from?"

"London, West End. But right now I'm house-sitting for a friend. He's out of town, and I'm between residences." The officer eyed Hatter a moment longer as the others put Alice onto the carry-bed and moved off. "She'll be alright?" Hatter asked nervously. The officer's suspicion was making his skin crawl, worse than Alice's ever had. But then, even Suits came across as stern and mean at first.

"They'll take her to the hospital until she wakes up. Probably just a bump on the head," the officer finally said, handing back the plastic card.

"Right, thanks," Hatter said, retrieving his coat. The officer led the way out of the building, Hatter close behind, trying to keep Alice in his sight.

An older redheaded woman let out a cry when the men brought Alice out. "Alice!" She pushed past other please-officers to rush towards the men carrying Alice.

"Easy, ma'am! They're gonna take her down to County. You can ride in the ambulance."

"Thank you for finding her!" the woman said, her voice hitching with suppressed sobs.

The officer smiled. "Wasn't me, Ma'am. This fellow here was looking out for her," the officer indicated Hatter with a wave of his hand.

"Thank you so much," Alice's mother said, grasping Hatter's hand. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome," Hatter choked out, overwhelmed by her emotion. The officer's suspicion had been hard, the other men's meticulousness not terribly affecting, but the gratitude coming off Alice's mother almost suffocated him.

"We're ready to roll here, Mrs. Hamilton, climb in," a man called, and Alice's mother rushed off.

Hatter gasped when the doors slammed shut, and the vehicle moved off, lights and noises going off worse than anything he'd ever seen or heard. Even a Jabberwocky's roar at close range didn't knife through his ears the way this machine's wail did. Everyone else seemed nonplussed by the noise, moving off, leaving Hatter standing there alone.

Alice was gone.

The sudden grip of panic welled up. She was gone! He was alone! Wait, no, _remember your training, boyo, _Hatter told himself. He hurried out of the alleys after the others, onto a main street. He could still faintly hear the wailing vehicle with Alice in it, moving away. Hospital. 'County', the pease-pot-officer had said.

Hatter waved frantically at a yellow car, just like he'd been taught. One stopped before him, just missing his feet. He climbed into the back and said, "County Hospital" to the man in front.

"You got it, buddy," the man replied, and Hatter was tossed back into the seat by the sudden acceleration. "You want Emergency or Admitting?"

"It's an Emergency," Hatter answered, frankly guessing.

"You got it."

Moments later the vehicle pulled up to a large building, and Hatter recognized its similarities to the Hospital of Broken Dreams in the City. He counted out the green pieces of paper for the driver, and headed into the Hospital.

Luckily, Mrs. Hamilton was pacing back and forth when he walked in. Daring, Hatter walked right up to her. "Will your daughter be alright, mum?" he asked.

"Oh! You're – yes, you're the one who found her, right?"

"Yes mum."

"Oh, yes, well, they're running some tests now, to make sure she's alright. They don't – they don't seem to know why she's unconscious."

Hatter hesitated, then offered, "Maybe she's had a shock?"

"I don't know," the woman said, becoming teary. "She was so angry at Jack – Jack's her boyfriend – she ran out of the house…"

"Here," Hatter said, guiding her towards some chairs, "You should sit. Let me see if I can find you a cuppa, alright?"

"Thank you, yes, I'd better sit. Thank you – I'm sorry, what's your name?"

"Uh, it's David. David Holmes." It took some effort to get out the alias.

"Thank you David."

Hatter left her there, somewhat reluctantly. He saw a capable looking woman seated behind a desk. "Excuse me," he asked her, "Is there someplace I might get the lady a cup of tea?"

The woman's brief smile flashed in her dark face. "I can't vouch for the quality of the tea, not to a Brit, but if you go up the elevator one floor and over to the main building, there's a cafeteria." Her hand waved in a particular direction, and glancing over, Hatter spotted the lifts.

"Thanks," he told her. A short while later, he was back with two odd, squeaky cups filled with something vaguely resembling hot herbal tea. The best real drinking tea in Wonderland had long been the purview of the Royal family, the drink too expensive for the average Wonderlander, who subsisted on water, cold or warm, and oyster 'tea'. He'd managed to keep himself personally supplied for years, but he'd still been excited to learn that real herbal tea was common in the otherworld and looking forward to trying it.

He'd also pocketed some sweetener, in case the stuff wasn't quite drinkable.

"Here," he said softly to Alice's mother, handing her a cup. She looked up, startled, as if she'd forgotten him.

"Oh! Thank you." He sat next to her, offering some sweetener packets as she sipped gingerly at the tea.

"It's not very good, is it?" He asked.

Her smile was lopsided and a bit weak. "Not particularly." They sat in silence for a few minutes, then she said, "I don't want to seem rude, but why are you here?" Her worry for Alice was tinged with curiosity.

Hatter shrugged a little, not wanting tell any tales before speaking to Alice. "I'd like to know she's alright. And… and I suppose you shouldn't be alone, waiting."

Mrs. Hamilton smiled again, more sincerely this time. "That's very sweet of you."

Hatter flushed. No-one had ever accused him of being 'sweet' before.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

FIVE – Pawn

Hatter could see the sun coming up through the doors to Emergency when the doctor appeared to tell Mrs. Hamilton that they could find nothing physically wrong with Alice.

"She seems to be merely experiencing exhaustion. Some mild dehydration as well."

"I don't know how that could be!" Mrs. Hamilton had exclaimed, while Hatter kept his mouth firmly shut.

"Well, we'd like to keep her here until she wakes up naturally. And then we'll run through a few more tests to be certain, but assuming those results are normal, you'll be able to take her home. She's been transferred to a room, I'd be happy to show you."

"Yes, thank you." Mrs. Hamilton gathered her things and started to follow the doctor. Hatter simply stood there, at a loss, when she turned around. "David? Do you want to come along?"

"Yes please," he answered, trying not to seem too eager.

In the hospital room, he hovered by the door, wanting to rush to Alice's side, to cling to her hand and beg her to wake, but he didn't dare in front of her Mother. Soon, he started to feel very awkward, like he was watching something he shouldn't.

He haltingly made up a reason to leave, bidding Mrs. Hamilton goodbye. He almost sagged in relief when she suggested he stop by their home that afternoon, to check in on Alice. They all assumed she'd wake any time now, and be allowed to leave the hospital.

Mrs. Hamilton gave him a piece of paper with their address on it, and Hatter held fast to it as he left the hospital. Another ride in a yellow car, and he found himself unlocking the door to Jack Chase's residence.

Looking around, he couldn't think what to do with himself. He'd expected to step through the Looking Glass and surprise Alice. He'd not expected the terrifying fall between worlds, nor to find her unconscious, nor to stumble sideways into a friendship with her mother. He'd imagined Alice's face, her smile, and the feeling of her arms around him in another fierce hug like the one she'd given him in the Casino, the one his mind replayed over and over in his dreams, making him sweat and groan and ache for her.

_Visceral_, Michael Diamonds had called it. That didn't begin to describe it, and alone for the first time since arriving, Hatter gave in to the shakes he'd been fighting off since falling through the Looking Glass. He dropped his coat on the floor and staggered to the sofa, falling onto it and curling into a ball, just panting with the release of tension.

It was strangely painful, being in this world. The emotions of all the hundreds of thousands of Oysters pricked at him when they got too close, like little knife jabs, and he instinctively knew to ignore them, he had to hold himself firm against them. Tears ran down his face as he lay on the sofa, trying to let go of the tension and pain. He had to adapt, he HAD to. He would not give in to madness. It was worse than the Truth Room. At least there, he had defiance on his side. Now, he just felt weak.

Fortunately, the other people in the building were far enough away that he couldn't feel them. He was as alone here as in the back room of his tea-house. He settled for just breathing, and deliberately relaxed a muscle at a time. Eventually, miraculously, he managed to drift off into sleep.

He woke suddenly, his mind crying out for Alice. Frantic, he checked the time, afraid he had slept an entire day. In fact, he had time to wash up before going to see Alice at last.

A shower was an amazing, wonderful thing! Wonderlanders bathed in tin tubs, and hot water was a luxury only those who worked directly for the Hearts in the Casino had ever enjoyed. Hatter intensely enjoyed the experience, letting the water run and run as the steam filled the room, liking the way the water pounded on his back. It didn't bother him to use Jack's soap and Jack's towels. It didn't even bother him to rummage through Jack's closet.

One more yellow car, and he realized he was almost out of green paper. But here he was, at Alice's door, and nervousness nearly stole the tongue from his mouth as he knocked.

Mrs. Hamilton's smile was fond and welcoming. He snatched his hat from his head as he entered, uncertain, a crooked grin on his face.

"Alice! Come and meet David!" Mrs. Hamilton called. "We just got home a little while ago," she told him.

And then, there she was, looking as gorgeous as ever. Her eyes drifted up to his face, and her surprise was like a burst of bright light, followed by joy.

"Hatter!" she cried, and once again she threw herself into his arms.

"Finally!" Hatter groaned, his heart washed clean by her joy, her affection. He breathed deeply of her scent, her happiness, her presence.

She pulled back, looking up into his face, her eyes shining, and he could practically taste how she felt. "I can't tell you how glad I am to see you!" she said, eyes shining.

She didn't have to tell him. He knew. And in that moment, his control broke, and he had to kiss her, he would have died if he didn't kiss her right then and there. He had to know….

A jolt of shock struck him, followed by her enthusiastic involvement in the kiss. _Intoxicating didn't begin to describe it_! He felt like he'd taken a shot, a glass, and a gallon of Passion tea, well blended with Lust and seasoned with Euphoria. He could feel they were feeding each other and feeding off each other. Somehow, it seemed she felt his emotions too.

They broke apart, dazed, and he tried to find something coherent to say, struggling to dredge some sense out of his overloaded mind, but all that came out was "I missed you."

Completely inadequate, that.

She grinned and kissed him again, and he nearly wept with relief and happiness. She wanted him here. Alice wanted him. He could taste it in her kiss. Oh, her taste, like berries and real tea and cool clean water. He wanted to taste every bit of her. He wanted to take her into himself and savor her.

"What on earth?!?"

Startled, Alice and Hatter stepped back from each other, both turning guilty faces to Mrs. Hamilton. The older woman was shocked and not a little horrified. "Alice? I take it you know David?"

"Yes! Um, Ha– David.. He's a friend."

"Some friend," Mrs. Hamilton observed dryly, and Hatter just about crumpled his hat. "I don't recall you greeting other friends like that. When did this start?"

"Just now," Alice answered, in the same moment Hatter stated, "About a month."

Both women turned to him, the mother confused, the daughter with an expression of realization. "A month?" Alice whispered, and Hatter nodded.

"What about Jack?" Mrs. Hamilton asked.

Alice bit her lip, then pulled her mother to the side. "Mom, Jack didn't turn out to be the man I thought he was." At her mother's startled look, Alice waved her hands. "No, no, he had nothing to do with my injury, it's just…. he wasn't really what I wanted, and I'm not really what he wanted either." She glanced at Hatter, her expression warm. "Ha- David has been a friend, a good friend, he's had my back for a while and… I guess…" She shrugged helplessly.

"It's my fault, Mrs. Hamilton," Hatter offered. "I mean, the girl of your dreams throws herself into your arms, what's a guy to do, right?" He gave her a lopsided grin, all charm and dimple. "I've been crazy about Alice for a while." Alice's smiled widened at that.

"You never said anything about knowing her," Alice's mother accused him.

Hatter set his face in innocent lines. "Well, Alice has never invited me home… I wasn't sure if you'd even heard of me."

He must have hit the right tone, because her face cleared. "Well, there is that. Alice…" she peered at her daughter. "Are you really alright?"

"Yes, mom," Alice said, smiling. "I'm even better now."

"Alright then. I'll leave you two alone."

"Actually, let's go out!" Alice swiftly grabbed a jacket, and pulled Hatter towards the door. "I'll be back in a while, Mom, don't worry."

"Take your phone!" Alice grabbed the devise off a shelf and practically pushed Hatter out ahead of her.

In the hall, they stopped to stare at one another. Just looking into her eyes again was like a homecoming for Hatter, and his hands itched to touch her, his arms ached for her.

Her eyes were still shining. "Hatter," she whispered softly and happily, and he drew her to him again, holding her close. "I can hardly believe you're here." She nestled into him, a soft wiggle that made his heart race. "David?" she asked, her voice muffled against his shoulder.

"That's me. Hello, David Holmes, nice to meet you."

She giggled, what a remarkable sound. "Holmes?"

"They said it was a famous name, but not uncommon."

"People are going to make jokes."

"Fine," he said, nuzzling against her ear, resting his cheek on her silky hair. His heart was pounding in his chest. He felt short of breath.

She pulled back, reluctance in every line. "We should go somewhere."

"Alright, where?"

She bit her lip. "Do you have someplace to stay?"

Hatter nodded. "I have. The Ki– I'm house-sitting for Jack Chase."

Alice made a shocked sound. "Really? How did that happen?"

"I'll tell you all about it, my lovely Alice, if you want to go there … but I need more currency for the yellow cars."

She laughed then, tossing her head back, delighted with him, and he drank in the sight and sound of her. She led him to a machine on the street that gave him green paper, and together they sat as close as two people could be in the back of a yellow car – a cab, what a strange name – to his temporary residence.

Once inside, in the relative quiet and delicious privacy, Hatter realized he was shaking again. Just a tremor, hardly noticeable, but every time he got a brush of Alice's emotions – happiness, affection, pleasure – it caused a shiver inside that left liquid heat running through him. Was this how a tea-head felt? Was he addicted to her? She smiled around the room, and then turned to him.

"Mom said you _found_ me…. but you said it's been a month."

"Time is different, remember. The Looking Glass was able to send me through right after you, but the King made me learn about your world before coming." It was hard to speak with her so close. Wildly, he wondered what was wrong with him. He'd never had a problem being close to her, it had always felt good. But his own feelings were running rampant, and causing havoc.

He was starting to sweat.

"You studied my world? So you could come after me?" The dawning pleasure on her face undid him.

"Alice…. I… want to be with you. I… I need you." She stepped closer, and her hands came up to rest on his chest, and he almost whimpered as he instinctively grabbed her hips. "Alice," he ground out, his voice hoarse with need, "I love you." He yanked her against him, his mouth crashing down on hers.

This wasn't the joyous kiss they'd shared in her home. This was hot need, burning passion. He was out of his mind with wanting her, and the feel of her only made him want more.

But she didn't deny him. She pressed herself against him with a happy little sigh that almost buckled his knees, her hands sweeping up his chest and neck and into his hair, knocking off the poor battered derby. She lightly ran her fingernails over his scalp, and light exploded behind Hatter's closed eyes.

Unhinged, he growled in his throat. Tipping his head, he changed the angle of the kiss, deepening it, slicing across her lips with his, and when her mouth opened, he thrust his tongue into her mouth, like a promise of things to come. She yielded to him, meeting his lust with her own, and that yielding soft and pliant sent him spiraling.

He abandoned her mouth for her ears, her neck, shoving the light garment aside to run his lips and tongue over her collarbone. She moaned as she clung to him, a delicious sound. Her breaths came as heavily as his, but he was beyond rational thought now.

He began to push her, walking her backwards to the sofa, where he meant to lay her down and take what he wanted so badly. She fell backwards with a breathy laugh, but then she looked up at him, and her sudden startled feeling slapped him like a knife to the face.

"Are you alright?"

The question gave him pause, just enough to hold him back from diving on her. He'd been lost, completely lost to his emotions and hers. Suddenly cold, Hatter realized he'd not been thinking at all. His hat and his jacket were on the floor behind him, and he couldn't remember when or how they came off. Alice was looking up at him, disheveled and surprised, her lips _oh, so swollen and delicious looking, and still as sweet as berries…._

"Hatter!"

He threw himself backwards away from her, panting. Alice was sitting up now, staring at him. "What's the matter? Your eyes…. it was like you went away for a minute there!"

He struggled to regain the power of speech, but his face must have shown his confusion, because she continued. "You weren't in there! Like, there wasn't any YOU in your eyes anymore!"

He still couldn't speak, shaking his head, the heat that had torn through him beginning to fade. He backed up, tripped on something and fell. Alice instantly rushed to his side. "Hatter! What's the matter with you?" Her hand touched his face, and he whimpered from the wave of worry.

He gasped in a breath, jerking out of her reach. "Don't touch me!"

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

SIX – Queen

Alice held her hands up, letting him scrabble away from her. "Hatter, what's going on?" The concern in her voice was like a punch in the gut.

"I couldn't bear to know, you know? I mean, I knew what I knew, and I didn't know what you knew."

"What?"

Hatter was babbling – speech returned but unfortunately thought hadn't come with it, and words spilled from his mouth. "I mean, I wanted to know but I was afraid because what if – I mean, I didn't want to know if the answer was no, I thought I was better off not knowing." She shook her head a little, distress in her eyes as she tried to follow his convoluted logic. "But.. but… Not knowing turned out to be worse, much much worse. I learned to do it for you, Alice. For you! But I'd never taken tea, so I didn't know how powerful this was. My sweet Alice – I love you. I love you more than my life." He had no control anymore, tears in his eyes. "And when you're close, it's like pure tea being pumped into me, I can breathe you in and feel what you feel, on top of what I feel, and it's overwhelming me, my love. I… I had no control! Because I was lost, like a bloody tea-head on an overdose." He shook his head when she reached for him, sorrow on her face. "I would have taken everything, my sweet Alice, my lovely Oyster with the shiniest pearl heart ever. I might not have stopped."

Alice was smiling sadly now, but she wasn't rejecting him. Instead, she inched closer to him, slowly, gently. She was controlling her breathing, slow and steady, and he could feel her – she was deliberately projecting Calm to him. When his ramble wore down, she reached out with one hand, and very gently laid it against his cheek. When he didn't flinch or recoil, she stroked her fingers tenderly down his face. He shuddered, but managed to control himself.

"But you did stop, Hatter. Even though you feel… what I feel?" Alice asked softly.

Still trembling, but able to resist touching her, Hatter nodded.

"And people from Wonderland don't have feelings of their own?"

"We have to learn to feel strongly… that's why the tea was so popular, didn't have to learn, could just feel. Feel anything you wanted, whenever you wanted, only the good stuff. But here, on this side … Jack could love you here, but since he didn't love you there first…." Hatter saw dawning comprehension in her eyes.

"But you – you stood by me, took care of me, helped me, saved me, and…."

Hatter couldn't look away from the glow in her eyes. "And I came to love you, Alice. So much."

She leaned forward then, and he held his breath as she pressed her lips to his, a soft slow warm kiss. It made him shiver, because it was a combination of the joyous kisses and the passionate kisses, with promise and seduction and he had to let her control their speed because he had no control at all when it came to Alice.

The kiss ended, but she didn't move away. He was sprawled backwards on the floor, on his elbows, and she was kneeling over him, her hands on his face and neck, and her breath warm against his face. Her eyes filled his vision, luminous blue with the curtain of her dark hair cutting off the rest of this strange and terrible world.

"I love you too, Hatter."

He whimpered, and sat up fast enough to capture her face in his hands and kiss her hard. She was clinging to him again, but this time they both were trying to stay in control. She slowly got to her feet, drawing him with her.

"Come with me," she commanded him like a queen, and he followed, of course he followed, because he always followed Alice anywhere she wanted to go. She led him down the hall to the bedroom, and stood with him beside the bed. "We'll take this slow," she announced, her eyes still warm and tantalizing, her hands touching him. "There will be time for crazy later."

He nodded, content to follow her lead as always. He concentrated on her reactions as he ran his hands under the edge of her top, caressing her silky skin. His own shirt had apparently surrendered completely, the buttons seeming to disintegrate from her touch. She pushed his shirt off his shoulders, leaning forward to kiss his neck and collarbone. He could feel her approval as her hands ran over his chest and body, getting to know him. Her palms left trails of heat on his skin as she explored. He lifted the edges of her shirt, sliding it up, and she willingly raised her arms to let him pull the garment away.

His breathing grew ragged again as she let him touch her, and she leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed as he kissed her, drawing her lip between his, using his tongue to tease and caress.

Her fingers worked at the waist of his pants, and she let out a breathless giggle as she loosened the button and zipper to slide her hands down his hips and backside. "Commando, Hatter?" she laughed softly.

"What?"

"Nevermind," she smiled, and tilting her head, she combined a squeeze to his backside with a bite to his earlobe that made him whine deep in his throat. His grip tightened on her waist.

"Alice," he groaned, and she laughed again.

"Lie down," she told him, and he obeyed, in this as in all things. Whatever Alice wanted. He toed off his shoes and got onto the bed. She grinned and pulled his pants off him, so that he lay there naked before her.

Whatever she saw seemed to please her, because he caught such a wave of lust he hardly could credit it came from Alice. But she simply slipped out of her marvelously fitted blue pants, not breaking her gaze. It was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen, seeing his Alice peal her clothing off. There was a scrap of silky lavender fabric clinging to her hips, and Hatter had to touch it.

He sat up, his hands reaching for her hips. At first, he just brushed the silky fabric with his fingertips, as her hands came to rest on his shoulders. But then he leaned forwards to kiss her stomach as he ran his fingers under the edge of the silly little thing, the last barrier between them. Gently, carefully, he drew it downwards, and she stepped out of it without protest.

She folded one lean leg and then the other, straddling his lap as he sat on the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arms around her waist, supporting her as she bent down and kissed him hard. She was a burning brand in his arms, the heat and the passion scorching him, and he was overjoyed to be consumed.

With a wicked smirk Alice pushed him backwards, and they both edged their way fully onto the bed. She stretched out mostly on top of him, letting her breasts press against his chest, her elbows over his shoulders, her fingers playing idly with his hair as she kissed him thoroughly, deliberately slowing their pace again. His hands stroked up and down her, swirling over the small of her back, caressing her backside and thigh, memorizing her shape in his head. It was a lull, a moment of pure enjoyment for them both, a pause to savor the knowledge that they were here, together, no barriers, no cares, and no pretenses or ulterior motives.

It was the deep breath before the plunge.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

SEVEN – Checkmate

Alice shifted her weight, freeing a hand that trailed down his chest, and wrapped around his erection. Hatter couldn't stop the groan that rattled from the back of his throat. He buried his fingers in her hair to pull her face even closer, deepening their kiss.

She stroked him purposefully, her small hand strong, and he gasped as she rubbed her thumb over the top of him, spreading the bead of semen that had oozed out around his tip. Hatter in turn ran a hand down Alice's body, and gently urged her leg up, so that he could tease her in turn.

He could sense her pleasure as the mist of emotion and sensation sunk into him. He was almost able to read her thoughts, able to sense exactly where she wanted his fingers the most, how hard, how fast, and soon she was the one moaning into their kiss, her breath coming in small sexy pants that almost made him weep with delight. If he focused on her sensations, he could almost control his own, even though her arousal amplified them and overtook him.

Suddenly, with a crash of sensation she was crying out, releasing her hold on him to grasp his hip as she bucked against his hand, and the wave of her abrupt orgasm slammed into him, making him cry out as well.

Her eyes focused in on him as she panted, surprised by his shout. "Did you–?"

"Yeah," he affirmed hoarsely. "Yeah, I felt that."

To his everlasting shock, her expression went from startled to utterly wicked. "Wow. Imagine what it's going to feel like when…."

Hatter shuddered a little. "I can't. Imagine, that is."

Alice smirked, rubbing her whole body against him. "Let's find out."

Hatter couldn't believe it. His stubborn serious Alice had turned into a wanton, wicked temptress. "You're trying to kill me." But he understood she was using humor to lighten the mood, to help him maintain his control.

She giggled, rising up to straddle him, rubbing her heated flesh against his. "If you can make jokes, you're not dying." Her humor and lust warmed him even more than her skin. It was bound about with trust and love and passion and all the wonderful flavors of her, bathing him in pleasure.

"You don't know that," he mumbled through repeated kisses. "I might go down laughing."

"Mmm, but what a way to go," she purred, a throaty sound that made goose-bumps prickle across his skin.

He caught her gaze with his. "There's no where else I'd want to die, than in your arms," he told her seriously. He didn't want to tell her that there actually was a distinct possibility this could kill him. Or at least, leave him utterly raving insane. She blinked, her eyes suddenly shining. "I love you, my Alice, my gorgeous girl."

"I love you too, my Hatter, my mad man."

He lifted her slightly, only to adjust their position, then let her sink, slowly, onto him, and the sensation of entering her was like coming home from war, a relief, a resolution, a rest and peace for his aching heart at last. She sighed as they conjoined, and satisfaction and love poured from her.

Together they moved, bodies pressed together from their lips downward. Hatter sensed the instant she felt the slightest discomfort, and carefully rolled them, holding her tight. Positions reversed, Alice wrapped her legs around his hips, and as he thrust deeper into her, her head lolled back with a happy moan, and he knew he satisfied her.

He braced himself on one arm, and with his other hand, he urged her to meet him in their movements, his hand grasping her backside and pulling her against him. Her breathing shortened again, and he felt her silent urges to him, arching his back to increase the angle of his thrusts, and he practically heard her shout _There!_ in his head as he found her sweet spot. Then she was crying out his name as he pushed her closer and closer to ecstasy, her ever wilder emotions pulling at him like a tide, dragging him closer and closer to the edge of sanity.

Then she was flying, an orgasm tearing through her, and it overwhelmed him. He came with her, his body jerking hard enough that in some other world, they might have become one being. It seemed as if the top of his head came off, and he lost all sense of himself, his own identity lost within the sensations of joy that only two people in love together can create. His throat felt torn when he came back to himself, raw with the shout of her name he uttered in that moment, prayer and invocation, battle cry and vow.

He collapsed a little, feebly letting his weight fall to the side of her, his body slipping free of hers, and they both let out little moans of loss, condemned into individuality again. They both gasped for breath at the same pace, their bodies still in tune if separate. She'd clawed his back as she came, and he could feel the sting, a minor distraction.

Hatter felt vulnerable now, as if the insides of his head and his heart have been cleaned out, repainted and repaired, and someone new had moved in. He'd become someone new himself in that moment. Alice had moved into him. He knew more about her in that moment of blinding connection than anyone in either world, maybe even more than she knew about herself.

"Hatter," she whispered. He forced himself up onto an elbow, so he could look down into her face. Her eyes shone, her face flushed rosy, her lips swollen and pouty with his kisses, and he felt a jolt of pride that he had caused her to glow like that. Her lips curled into a smile. "Don't get smug now."

Hatter blinked. "You felt that?"

"You getting all proud and smug? Yeah." She blushed, and said, "Since the moment we… you know…"

"Now you're getting all coy and shy?" he teased, disbelievingly.

"Shut up. It was like… like I could hear you in my head. At least, I knew everything you were feeling. Is that what it's like for you?" When he nodded, she asked, "All the time?"

"Yep," he answered, popping the P to make her giggle. He shifted, drawing her into his arms so he could lie back with her resting against him. Their skin still radiated heat, and he gently stroked her side and her hair. "I overdosed in there somewhere, I think."

"Yeah," she whispered, her voice both a little scared and a little awed. "I felt that. When we came together, there was a second like you …. fragmented. Then you came back." She traced one of the scars on his chest, one of many he'd earned over the years. "It was scary… and thrilling. That I could do that to you."

Hatter tightened his arms around her. "I always come back to you," he swore quietly. It was a relief to know he could come back from that, so easily, unlike the long and painful withdrawals the Queen's emotion teas had required. She nodded against him, trusting him. He could feel her faith and trust, coiling through her satisfaction and tiredness. "Can you feel my emotions now?"

"It's fading, I think." She sounded sorry for it, but it didn't surprise him. Oysters weren't like Wonderlanders. "Will it fade for you?"

Hatter swallowed hard. "I don't know. They warned me…"

"What?" Her sudden spike of concern chilled him.

"They told me that sometimes the suits went mad, overwhelmed." He hurried to assuage the fear he could feel rising in her. "I think that was because they didn't know how to feel emotions on their own in the first place. But I'm not worried, Alice, I'm not," he assured her. He traced her face with his fingers, smiling. "I told them I'd be fine as long as I was with you. I think you'll just have to take over and make me fragment every once in a while."

"And then put you back together again," she joked.

"Like Humpty Dumpty," he agreed, and she laughed softly, her fear and concern fading back into love and happiness.

They laid there for some time, wrapped in their shared love, gently familiarizing themselves with the contours of each other's bodies. It was a sad comedown from their ultimate moment of connection and joy, and Hatter knew inside that he'd constantly want that moment back, again and again, with Alice, for the rest of his life.

As they drifted pleasantly on their emotions, Hatter tilted his head to press his lips against her hair. "Can I keep you?" he whispered into her dark locks.

"Yes," she sighed happily. "As long as I can keep you."

Hatter adjusted his grip on her, wrapping her even more thoroughly in his arms. It was possible he could still go mad. It was possible he'd never learn to control his ability to feel the emotions from oysters around him. It was possible he'd overdose on the sensations around him and go through some sort of terrible withdrawal, or die. Anything was possible. But he promised her anyway. "Always, my Alice. Always."

THE END

* * *

_AN: yes, there's a line snagged from a movie. And despite its source, it's a line I've always loved. _

_AN2: Am I evil for not resolving Hatter's dilemma? Maybe. Maybe I wanted to maintain that edge of danger to Hatter– him being dangerous, and him being in danger. Maybe I didn't want a completely shiny happy ending. And yet, I doubt I'll do a sequel. So here endeth the tale. _


End file.
